The joys of &%^$ing Motherhood!

OK forget getting up at all hours of the night with a hungry, wet (or poopy), screaming newborn...that is the easy shit...the hard parts are when you can hear your nearly three year old upstairs crashing and banging around and are absolutely afraid of what you are going to find her in the middle of when you go racing up the stairs...

Second "Holy F***! moment of the day is when you take the laundry from the washing machine and find everything covered in the sweet stickyness of juicy fruit gum...never mind the fact that your step-son's mp3 player went through the washing machine on the weekend are you are faced with the guilt while watching him cry is eyes out all weekend...and THEN your husband has the balls to say to you, "Maybe you should check the pockets for now on," to which you reply by telling him off while screaming at the top of your lungs that you already have too much to do with a bunch of pigs living with you and having to clean up after them while taking care of two children, one a small infant that doesn't understand when you have to put them down in order to go clean up poop from the bathroom floor while answering the phone and getting juice and putting on "Tubbies" for the thousandth time ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!!!

I'm not saying I don't enjoy motherhood...those times of peaceful interlude when everyone else is asleep and you can have two seconds to yourself before sweet, sweet sleep comes...

Oh and I haven't bathed or showered in five days because by the time I finish my motherly duties, I'm too tired to care about not smelling like poo and spit-up at the end of every day...